I went into meditate this morning with a feeling of calm and well-being. I just got some new incense blended and blessed by my friend Lucy O'Malley-local, and I was anxious to try it out. She made a batch for Lughnasadh, so it's very festive and fresh and lively! I set a charcoal to burn in my wee cauldron, slowly dropped a pinch of incense onto the coal and was rewarded with a sweet and wonderful scent.
I cast a protective circle around me, because I had a feeling that anything could happen today! And I was totally right, though not in the way I expected.
I began by simply breathing, feeling energy flowing up through deep roots and flowing down from high branches. I listened to the gentle rain, the babble of the swollen creek outside my door, the gossip of birds and the whisper of wet trees in the wind. A sense of peace and wholeness came upon me like nothing I've ever felt.
And then a wise voice began slowly speaking in my thoughts: Some days, it is enough to simply be present. The work that is to be done will be the better if times of rest are relished, and never rushed. Breathing is all you must do today. Breathe, and enjoy the fruits of first harvest.
A warm sense of knowing flowed into me; Many things are coming to a single point in my life. I am turning 50 just before Mid-winter. I am releasing my first record since my divorce, and it's the best thing I've ever done. I am nearing the end of peri-menopause and about to cross into whatever the next phase is. I'm not ready to be a Crone. I'm certainly not interested in becoming a Mother (again)! And Maiden was a long time ago.
And then I understood: I'm at the Lughnasadh point in my life. The first fruits are ripe and ready, the hardest work is over, and it's time to relax and steward my life for a while. I don't need to reinvent myself; I just need to keep doing what I'm doing, keep incorporating everything I learn into that, and work on mastering the skills I've been honing for so many years. Take care of myself. Enjoy life with my wonderful partner.
Stop trying to be Superwoman, that job is highly over-rated.
Simple simple simple, so why does it feel like a revelation? We push ourselves so hard, always striving to do more, be better, do nine impossible things before breakfast every morning, and there are times when that is the only way to get through and survive! Those are hard habits to break. When that kind of drive and activity are unnecessary, we still drive ourselves to accomplish ridiculously.
So today, let us enjoy the Solar stroll toward Lughnasadh. Let breathing in and out be enough. Relish some rest. Have a glass of wine. Blessed harvest, one and all.
